How to Focus Forward and Heal After Abuse

The Life Changing Impact When You Focus Forward

I can remember early in my healing journey my mentor saying to me: Susan, you can continue to look back with regret or you can begin to focus forward and see all the possibilities that are waiting for you.

To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what she meant and I was very much stuck in my miserable musings about all that had happened to me - victim story and mentality was front and centre for me. Getting past my victim story to see possibilities in my future was a stretch at best but I did begin to think about "stuff" - what was I creating for myself? What was I showing my girls? Was this how I wanted to feel and be for the rest of my life?

It opened the door to looking at possibilities and thinking just maybe I could do something to change my path and get out of my old victim story.

Was it easy? Fuck no! I loved being a victim. She got away with bad behaviour, sitting around doing nothing, ignoring her responsibilities, and partying to ease the pain. Leaving her behind was the biggest and most courageous step I took in my recovery.

Choosing to focus forward and let go of what's behind you, it's a powerful step in your recovery journey.

Juicy questions to get you focusing forward:

Where are you going?

What are you creating?

What’s one thing that you could do to give yourself more peace emotionally?

How are you getting in your own way?

What’s your favourite way of sabotaging yourself?

How long has it been since you really, really wanted something and went all out for it? And, what was it?

And what else

Sit in a safe space and write your answers. Be really honest and reflective. Your answers will help you look at the possibilities and see where you are holding yourself back from moving forward.

Wherever you are in your healing journey, I challenge you to look forward with possibility. Once you know what's possible for you, set the goals to make it happen. Celebrate every small success along your path. And as you do, you will break the bond with your old story and that's a good thing!